Pen pal program forges friendships

When she was the English language arts teacher at St. Thomas School in Sanford, Ericka Sanborn decided to start a pen pal program to teach her students letter writing, fearing it was becoming a lost art. Five years later, she says she couldn’t have imagined how successful the program would become.

“It’s just really blossomed into something amazing and wonderful,” says Ericka, who is now the school’s director of marketing, enrollment, and legacy. “I never imagined that the students would become so excited about it. It started with just a handful of students, and it has expanded into the entire seventh- and eighth-grade class. It’s almost a rite of passage that when a student here reaches grade seven or eight, they get a pen pal and begin to forge a really nice relationship.”

The students’ pen pals are residents who frequent the Trafton Senior Center in Sanford. The students travel to the center at the start of the school year to meet their pen pals and then exchange letters every six to eight weeks throughout the school year and sometimes longer.

Marge Lewis and eighth-grader Margaret Sanborn are headed into their third year of correspondence.

“Marge is 98, and I’m happy to call her my friend. We both like music, the outdoors, and our faith is important to us. By writing to her, I’ve learned so much about what life was like before I was even born,” says Margaret.

Eighth-grader Jenna Smith and Evelyn Proulx were paired last year and formed such a strong bond that they continued to stay in touch over the summer.

“I like reading about all the different things she is doing, and I like reading about the things that she did when she was younger, and all the jobs that she’s had, and some things that we both do that are very similar,” says Jenna.

“We both enjoy large families and spending time with them, and we both enjoy writing. Jenna’s been published in some of the little Sanford papers and in other papers. I was published in some anthologies and also in the old Sanford newspaper. And she’s highly interested in dance. I have some great grandchildren who dance in the same dance school that she attends,” says Evelyn.

“I tell her all about the dances that I’m doing and anything new that’s happening,” says Jenna.

While the program was started to help students with letter writing, the benefits have gone far beyond that.

“Three things that we’ve learned through the years are, first of all, that friendship transcends age and life experiences. There have been some great friendships forged out of this partnership. Secondly, I think all the participants have discovered that we are more alike than unalike. We have things in common despite age and experience. And third, in my opinion, this is better than flipping through a book. There is great value in talking with someone, learning from someone,” Ericka says.

The learning goes both ways. While teens benefit from the seniors’ breadth of experiences, the older residents get a chance to discover what it’s like to be a teen today.

“I’ve benefited because I feel like I’m learning more about what goes on with this generation. All my kids are long grown and gone. I do have grandchildren and great grandchildren, but they’re here and there, and I don’t get to spend all that much time with them. So, it’s been interesting, I guess, just learning about the things Jenna does. I think it helps keep the mind active,” says Evelyn.

“I feel like everybody’s just so focused on technologies now, and so getting to do this with people who didn’t grow up with technologies is really nice, and it’s cool to learn about,” says Jenna.

Like Jenna and Evelyn, eighth-grader Jacob Forest and Sanford resident Mary Stewart have also enjoyed being pen pals, saying it has given them a connection they would not otherwise have.

“I feel like nowadays a lot of younger people don’t really just go up to older people and talk with them and say hi to them and be kind to them. They just kind of leave them alone, thinking they probably want to be left alone,” says Jacob.

“And vice versa. Older people wouldn’t go up to a teen and say, ‘Hey, what’s up? What’s the latest jargon? Can you fix my phone?’” says Mary. “I find that Jacob brings a kind of freshness to our conversations. It reminds me of what I was doing when I was in school, Catholic school. There’s a brightness about kids that I really see and like in him.”

“I just find it interesting that even though there is an age difference, we still have very similar interests,” adds Jacob.

“We talk about our favorite things, our favorite foods, our travels, our families, our pets,” says Mary.

Mary has a lot of travel experiences to share, including a recent trip she took to Antarctica.

“It was so beautiful, and I gave him a lot of pictures of penguins,” she says. “I’m very blessed to have been able to do this, and now, this year, I get to talk with him about Australia and New Zealand.”

As evidenced by Mary’s active lifestyle, Ericka says the program has helped the students realize that getting older doesn’t mean you stop living and experiencing new things.

“They’ve been very surprised to see that the people they are corresponding with are active, and they’re full of joy,” says Ericka.  

“They’ve learned that seniors are not dead in their tracks. There are quite a few of us who are very active, especially here at the senior center in Sanford,” says Cynthia MacQuarrie of Sanford. “I didn’t have a pen pal last year, but I have always had two, which I’ve got this year because I love kids.”

The pen pal program is just one of the many ways in which St. Thomas School seeks to serve and be a part of the community.

“When people think of St. Thomas School, they think of faith and strong academics, but that narrative is changing to also include community involvement,” says Ericka. “We’re really making our mark and letting people know that St. Thomas is here. We’re ready to serve, and we’re ready to lead.”

At the senior center, that service not only includes the pen pal program but assistance serving the noontime meal twice a month.

“It’s another opportunity for students to live their faith, to put their faith into action, and to do something greater than themselves,” says Ericka. “It is part of who we are. It is our mission, and I am really proud of that.”