Silver & Gold Mass brings together couples celebrating a combined 1643 years of marriage

Thirty-two couples celebrating special wedding anniversaries and a combined 1,643 years of marriage attended the annual Silver & Gold Anniversary Mass celebrated by Bishop James Ruggieri on Saturday, June 28, at St. John Church in Bangor.

The annual Mass is a celebration of the gift of Christian marriage.

"In the Catholic Church, when a man and a woman come before the altar and enter the covenant of marriage, they do more than declare their love for each other. They do more than begin a shared household. They make a sacred promise for life. They give themselves to each other freely, faithfully, fruitfully, and totally. But within that mutual gift, they also do something else. They make room for God. They open the door of their marriage to Christ. They invite the grace of God to dwell in the very center of their home, their promises, their joys, their sufferings, their decisions, and their daily life," Bishop Ruggieri said. "Through the sacrament of matrimony, Christ strengthens husband and wife to love each other with a love that reflects his own faithful love for the Church. Their marriage becomes a place where grace is not merely remembered once a year but received and lived day after day."

Among those joining in the celebration were six couples each celebrating 60 or more years of marriage. Clarence and Norma Peters of Veazie have been married 67 years. Clarence was a military police officer stationed in Panama, and that is where they met.

"She picked me first because I had Bermuda shorts on," says Clarence. "We got acquainted pretty quick."

"I liked his legs," Norma says, laughing. "He was in uniform. They looked very nice in their uniforms, and he seemed to be a nice person."

Clarence and Norma say they have found honesty and good communication to be among the keys to keeping a marriage strong.

"You've got to be truthful to each other. You've got to have faith in each other. You've got to work together," says Clarence.

"Never hold back on how you're feeling, one way or another. Just let each other know if you don't like something or if you like it, because if you don't, then those things that are annoying you will get built into bigger things. I think that a big thing is being able to talk," says Norma.

Although Clarence wasn't Catholic when they got married, they enrolled their children in Catholic school after they moved to Maine, and he later joined the Church. The couple describe their faith as being a very important part of their marriage.

"If you don't have faith, how are you going to deal with all the challenges that come into marriage? So you have to have God. God is first," says Norma.

That is a sentiment shared by Bob and Linda Stutzman of Hermon, who have been married for 60 years after having met on a blind date.

"We made an oath at the altar and we kept it," says Bob. "We kept our commitment to one another."

"It wasn't easy at times. There were good times and bad times, but we made it," says Linda. "If it wasn't for our faith, we would have broken up a couple of times. It's been important to us, and we have kids, and we've tried to instill the faith in them. The great grandkids all go to Catholic school here."

"We attend Mass every Sunday. We were both brought up in the Catholic Church as children. Went to a public high school, but we never left the faith, never left the Church," says Bob. "I go to daily Mass. It's very important. I feel like something is missing if I don't. I play the organ at church, at St. Mary's and at the St. Joseph's Hospital Chapel also. So faith and Church are very much important to us."

John Mugnai, who has been married to his wife, Pam, for 55 years (and eight days as of the Silver & Gold Mass), has also been involved in music ministry, remembering the 38 years that he played guitar in the folk group at St. Teresa Church in Brewer.

They met at the Machias fairgrounds when she was still a senior in high school, and he was headed to college.

They credit their many happy years together and strong marriage in part to attending Marriage Encounters, the first one, in the mid-1970s, was an Episcopalian Marriage Encounter, which John said let him back to the Catholic Church and to bring Pam with him. A little later, John says a deeper encounter weekend led to their increased Church involvement.

John says to have a successful marriage, you need to have patience.

"You need a lot of patience. You need to know when to say no, know when to say yes, and realize that your opinion is not the most important thing," he says. "It's sometimes hard to forgive, but it's needed. You have to forgive. You have to forget and move on to the next day."

"And faith. You need a lot of faith," adds Pam.

During the Silver & Gold Anniversary Mass, prayers of thanksgiving were offered for those celebrating the grace of the sacrament of matrimony. 

The bishop then invited the couples who gathered for the Mass to face each other and join hands, while praying for the Lord's blessing upon their marriages. 

"Look with kindness on them today," the bishop prayed. "Amid the joys and struggles of their life together, you have preserved the union between them. Renew their marriage covenant, increase your love in them, strengthen their bond of peace, and grant them your blessing so that, surrounded by their children, family, and friends, and by their community of faith, they may always rejoice in the gift of your grace."

Following the Mass, the couples gathered for a reception in the parish hall, catching up with old friends and sharing more memories.

"We met up in Houlton, Maine. I was working on the American side, and she was living over in Woodstock, New Brunswick, and she fell head over heels with me," says John MacDonald of Bangor, who has been married to his wife, Mary, for 45 years. "I was the manager of the store up there and she was shopping all the time."

"He was a good-looking, nice man," says Mary.

Gary and Linda Lewia of Levant met in high school and started dating in college.

"We started dating, and here we are 50 years later," says Gary. "We get along good. We have our differences sometimes, but we're able to always see how to pull it together, give and take a little bit each way."

"He's a very hard worker, an excellent fix-it man," says Linda. "Anything that I want built or done, he can do it. So that's a big thing. And the other thing is that he is nasty neat."

Like the other couples, Linda and Gary say God is a part of their marriage.

"We were born and brought up Catholic," says Gary. "We go to church and we pray and hope that God keeps us safe and keeps our family safe."

"I think somedays, when you're ready to tear your hair out, you pray to God to let me get through another day, and he always comes through," says Linda.

Gene Staffiere of Veazie credits his wife of 55 years, Joan, with helping him stay connected to his faith.

"I'm a convert," says Joan. "I did not convert necessarily to marry him; I wanted to convert. I was interested in the Catholic religion, but I did convert just a few months before we were married, and I have never regretted it one bit. I've become very faithful."

"I think part of being a convert is that you become a stronger Catholic, and Joan has a very strong faith, and because of that, she's helped me have a very strong faith," says Gene.

In addition to their faith, they say what's kept them together is mutual respect, family, and never going to bed angry.

"Don't go to bed unhappy," says Gene. "I've made it a practice to kiss my wife goodnight every night."